:: The New Electric Gospel According to Vuduchyl ::

:: Sunday, March 24, 2002 ::

Spent two and a half hours on the phone with my Mom tonight. Barely noticed the time pass at all. Funny, considering I haven't talked to her in about three weeks. My doing, not hers.

Why am I such an asshole about not wanting to talk to my Mom most of the time? I dunno. Right now I'm on this kick of just wanting to focus on work and reading and climbing, and t'hell with everything else. Somehow I don't seem to consider family a priority now. That needs to change.

But right now, I'm kind of submitting to the monastic lifestyle I've imposed on myself. I can feel myself growing as a programmer, and on a mental/spiritual level. Perhaps I fear that any uncontrolled perturbations will fuck up my entire program, like a signal and/or an exception that I haven't programmed myself to handle.

Pretty shitty way to be. Perhaps that's why I'm plagued by fears of abandonment, and remain convinced that most people I encounter would rather I fuck off entirely. I'm not saying that to get pity; that's just the way I feel, and I'm dealing with it.

Wow. None of this is really very funny yet, is it?

OK, you asked for it...

Frankencock.

:: Mike 10:46 PM [+] ::
...